DIARY: Sleepy’s not nosy, but he needs his pal Doc

Winning new business has always been a cut-throat affair but I hear it has plumbed new depths in Soho’s agency land. Kidnapping, mutilation and death threats are just some of the shocking atrocities suffered recently by Consolidated Communications.

Winning new business has always been a cut-throat affair but I hear it

has plumbed new depths in Soho’s agency land. Kidnapping, mutilation and

death threats are just some of the shocking atrocities suffered recently

by Consolidated Communications.



A clearly-rattled Jonathan Shore, one of Consolidated’s directors, tells

me the vendetta started when the agency sent Sleepy, a plastic Disney

dwarf, to Halfords former head of PR Hugh Band.



Shore explains that the agency, one of whose clients is Disney’s Buena

Vista Home Entertainment, regularly sends the seven dwarfs off to work

as a mailer to new business prospects. But this time there was no happy

ending. The next time Shore saw Sleepy he was even smaller than usual.

In fact he was just a nose. Band the Knife, as he is known in PR

circles, had sent back Sleepy’s wee protuberance with the chilling

threat that, without a sizeable ransom, the dwarf would ‘get it’.



Consolidated didn’t mess about. They did what any crisis management

advisers would have done in the same situation - they sent over a boxed

Mighty Morphin Power Ranger. But ‘the Knife’, who is about to join

customer loyalty specialist, the Continuity Company, takes no hostages

and the Power Ranger came back by return post - or rather two of his

limbs did.



‘We are concerned about our dwarfs’ future welfare and are drawing up

contingency plans to protect them,’ says Shore. ‘We may even be sending

them out in pairs in the future. One thing’s for sure, the story’s not

over yet...’



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