As political rehabilitations go, Peter Mandelson's is nothing short of historic. This political feline had surely used up his nine lives with scandals over home loans and passports for chums sullying his lengthy CV. Now, with Gordon Brown away, the Prince of Darkness has swooped into the Number 10 driving seat for a two week test drive. This week's papers have neatly all featured Mandy in some way. Funny that.
The week started with front page photos of Mandy at play. Sashaying down a Greek beach with a Rothschild in tow. Fast forward to mid-week and it's casual Mandy, at Gatwick in blue suede shoes. 'Peter Mandelson was all ready to "go cat go" as he returned to Britain,' purred The Mirror. All the while PM carried himself with an air of indifference. 'All this ridiculous song and dance about who is in charge is just a load of nonsense, ' meowed the Business Secretary. Snuggling up to Guardian readers, Lord M played up his softer side, claiming that he wasn't 'a big beast, more of a kindly pussycat.' PM for PM? Perhaps, but then Mandelson never seemed the type of pussy to drink once the milk turns sour.
Having an air of indifference conversely implies an even more powerful image
Arranging for a timely interviews (in this case when the boss is on holiday) allows you a clear run to boost your profile
Soften your image with the help of benign similies
Bad Week for Alan Duncan
Across the political divide, another flamboyant exquisitely-coiffured MP has been making waves of a different kind. Beware men with long coats and button cameras. Enter Heydon Prowse of Don't Panic magazine. Purportedly making 'a spoof nature documentary', Prowse secretly filmed the Shadow Leader of the Commons at Westminster, grizzling that MPs had to 'live on rations' and were 'treated like sh*t'. The video was posted on Don't Panic's website a month ago but only seems to have caught the mainstream media's attention this week. Although August is silly season, the recent tepid weather seems to have gone to Duncan's head. Things are summed up by the Telegraph's resident doodler 'Matt' featuring a newspaper vendor next to a billboard proclaiming: 'Alan Duncan designates mouth as main residence for foot'.
The perma-tanned MP for Rutland and Melton was forced to apologise unreservedly and later claimed that his comments had been 'meant in jest'. With magnificent comic timing, Duncan's remarks coincided with the hilarious news that unemployment had soared to a 14 year high. Expect to see Duncan performing at the Edinburgh fringe next August.
Beware the rise of the citizen journalist, just because they don't have a lobby pass doesn't mean they are less important
Never assume that you are not being recorded. The modern media age scrutinises like never before
Passing off comments as 'just a joke' generally has no credibility as a response