Such a club must surely command a meaty budget, an illustrious history and a bulging trophy cabinet. Barcelona, Juventus or Corinthians of Brazil, perhaps?
Er, no. The world's oldest club is none other than the Northern Counties East league's Sheffield FC. Aptly it has drafted in Sheffield-based HR Media and London City shop Holborn PR.
The club is looking to make the most out of its link with Real Madrid (it is the only club other than the Spanish team to receive the FIFA Order of Merit). But surely the biggest task will be selling the steel city to the millionaires of Bernabeu?