The Carn Brea experience begins with trying to find the turning that leads there; an junction hidden away off a quiet road through the former mining village of Carnkie (certainly a far cry from the usual media haunts).
The castle is small but perfectly formed, and complete with spiral staircases, log fires, priest holes and antique candelabras.
Then there's Munir Sawalha, who has been running the castle for 18 years and still works seven days a week, waiting on every diner. He also performs impromptu bongo sets and regales you with tales of his famous nieces or rude customers.
The servings are more than generous, with a mixture of grilled prawns, succulently spiced lamb, fragrant Madaba chicken and a mouth-watering steak dish. All washed down with modestly priced house wine or beer served in tankards.
Plus, if Munir likes the cut of your jib, he'll give you the keys to lock up. So there you are in your own castle, view of the sea, satiated, listening to the bongos echoing throughout. Lovely.
Where: Carnkie, Redruth, Cornwall
Contact: 01209 218358
How much: £20 a head, including drinks