The photoshoot featured a red-faced Kennedy guzzling a tankard of beer, a smiley Blair digging a hole, and a vampire Howard holding a 'keep out' sign.
'Is this the dullest election ever ... yes or gnome?' asked the Current Bun, clearly devoid of a fresh Rooney revelation.
The answer, resoundingly, appears to be that the election isn't boring after all, and Britain's favourite red-top moaned that the parties were leading the public up the garden path.
So, returning to more earthy matters, Taylor Herring account director Peter Mountstevens divulges to PRWeek: 'Political gnomes are set to become the new must-have garden ornament in the run-up to the general election.'