Game of coverage: The diary of a Westeros PR man

Spinnius Flack is the Grand Maester of King's Landing Coverage - Westeros' leading PR agency.

Stark: difficult to work with (image via @GameofThrones on Twitter)
Stark: difficult to work with (image via @GameofThrones on Twitter)

Season One – The Winterfell Tourist Board

Being a PR agency based in the capital, we tend not to deal with the North very often, so you can imagine my surprise when I took a raven off House Stark with a new tourism brief.

The King is set to visit, and they’ve rightly seen this as an ideal opportunity to showcase the North to the wider kingdom.

As with all clients outside of King’s Landing, I’m immediately worried that they won’t have the coin.

Luckily, our heavily connected policy team are advising us that Lord Stark is set to be named Hand of the King.

They say knowledge is power (or is it power is power?), so with that news, the opportunity for organic growth is clear.

We take the gig.

Our team of top creatives get to work immediately, but there are more than a few reputational issues to resolve.

Firstly, it’s cold and wet. Secondly, the people aren’t very friendly and thirdly, there’s a real risk of terrorism from Wildlings.

That said, it also has a gorgeous landscape, an abundance of historical interest and there’s plenty of flora and fauna to enjoy.

A moment of genius from my lead creative, Punnius Double-Barrelledname of House Wordplay, results in the over-arching visitor strategy strapline: "Winter is Coming, So Should You."

One of our other creatives suggests this could be misconstrued as sexual innuendo, but we choose to ignore him.

Not only is it a great strapline; this is Westeros. Sex sells.

Before the King’s visit we smash our KPIs like a Greyjoy Rebellion, but we don’t need an army of Unsullied, so we crush our competitors with a series of well-placed interviews and features.

The Landing Evening Standard runs an exclusive competition to win trips to the Wall, while, for the celebrity angle, we arrange for Sansa Stark – an underage beauty with hopes of a Royal Marriage – to be secretly portraited around town.

Needless to say, the Daily Veil go mad for those images.

The only slight annoyance is the youngest Stark, Arya.

We want to make her the face of our ‘Active Winterfell’ campaign – showcasing all the outdoor activities available in the North, but she just keeps on muttering about brand conflict and diary clashes.

It’s either "that’s not me" or "not today" and in the end it’s just too annoying – I don’t envy the man that ends up with her.

We end up settling with Brandon Stark. He’s not very talkative, but he loves climbing and his lordship title will play well with the public.

I’m happy when he signs the contract decree, but I’m always a little wary working with kids – just hope we’re not setting ourselves up for a fall…

Littlefinger’s Gentlemen’s Club. So good, even HE visits. If we don’t win an award for that one, heads will roll.

Spinnius Flack, Ready10

Smaller clients

Mott’s Armoury

A lovely little brief from a luxury blacksmith in King’s Landing.

The owner is impressive, but the real story is his young apprentice. Not only is he supremely talented, but he’s outrageously good looking – like a young Robert Baratheon.

He doesn’t talk much, but the Ham and Highgarden run a piece, "The Blacksmith That Smoulders…In More Ways Than One!"

Good lad that Gendry, he’ll go far.

Littlefinger’s Gentlemen’s Club

This is the sort of client we love to work with. Challenger brand, willing to embrace controversy and deep pockets.

The only other Westerosi client like this is the gladiator-wagering shop Paddy Powergaryen.

Anyway, Littlefinger wants a big print campaign that definitively highlights his brothel as the best in the kingdom.

The idea comes almost instantly. Via our public affairs team, we’ve got a great in with the Eunuch, Varys.

We commission a portrait of him entering Littlefinger’s establishment and send to the copy maesters, who royally deliver.

"Littlefinger’s Gentlemen’s Club. So good, even HE visits." If we don’t win an award for that one, heads will roll…

Greg Double, creative at Ready10

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