If you're an average American, you enjoy few things more than showering in the morning while belting out your favorite Iranian pop music tunes.
But alas, the, um, "burgeoning" Iranian pop scene is once again under attack from religious wackos.
New Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, a.k.a. mini-Khomeini, recently banned all "indecent and Western music" from the country's radio and TV stations. Period.
Think Iranians don't have taste in Western music? Think again, sucker! According to the AP, "Tunes by Kenny G...have regularly accompanied Iranian broadcasts." Reuters reported that Iranian musicians reacted to the ban with anger and dismay.
The injustice! The censorship! The wanton disregard for easy listening! Ahmadinejad, who has already loaded several bullets into his future assassin's gun by calling the Holocaust a "myth," has now set himself up against an even more fearsome enemy: Kenny - to the mutha-F'in - G.
Was there ever a more perfect time for KG to prove his worth as a human being than now, by sparking an impromptu government overthrow? If Ahmadinejad thinks a few stray sax solos and bootleg hip-hop albums are bad for Iran, wait until hordes of enraged Kenny G fans swoop down upon Iran to avenge this grievous insult to their idol. In 1979, Iran's revolution was led by Islamic hard-liners hungry for an autocratic religious dictatorship; in 2006, it will be led by middle-aged Iranian women hungry for more smooth jazz versions of Jingle Bell Rock.
We all know Iran will never be mistaken for ACLU headquarters. But a little censorship goes a long way, and banning western culture will leave the citizens with...what? Their own culture?
Please. The Persian Empire was nice. The ruins of Persepolis are mildly impressive. The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayamm had a few bitchin' lines.
But they're no Kenny G.
- Hamilton Nolan writes PR Play of the Week. He is a New-York based reporter at PRWeek.
3. On the right track