The Oscars are the most glaring symbol of our world's bizarre celebrity fixation and our keening tendency to worship at the altar of the fashion gods. On the other hand, those celebrities are so glamorous!
The competition among designers to dress the stars is incredibly fierce. It is a pitted battle of fashion innovation, personal flattery, and, most important, the ability to cover minimal amounts of flesh in new and creative ways.
But the dress wars are also, in a very essential way, a stroll down a communications catwalk. Über-designer Valentino found this out the hard way at this year's awards, when three women-of-the-moment canceled plans to wear his gowns after he prematurely announced to the press that they would be doing so.
A press release issued Sunday morning referencing what will happen Sunday night is, apparently, jumping the gun by Hollywood standards. Uma Thurman, Jennifer Lopez, and Keira "I Will Do Anything at All to Appear on the Cover of Vanity Fair" Knightley all showed up in competitors' dresses, leaving Valentino looking a bit passé
Or perhaps "foolish" is a better word. We media slobs may not know much about the star-crossed ways of that California Babylon, but we do know that if your name isn't Miss Cleo, you shouldn't try to predict what a star will be wearing in 12 hours.
Valentino no doubt has retired to his private yacht in shame, drowning his sorrow in Cristal. Hollywood is rough.
3. On the right track