Lauer takes command of defining war

What the American political landscape needs in this time of uncertainty is more decisive leadership of the type that is usually associated with short-haired morning TV personality Matt Lauer.

What the American political landscape needs in this time of uncertainty is more decisive leadership of the type that is usually associated with short-haired morning TV personality Matt Lauer.

Are you listening, lily-livered politicians? Lauer will now be the maestro of the show. Pay heed.

What Lauer did to deserve such admiration, of course, was to finally clear up this whole Iraq mess. Well, perhaps "clear up" is too strong a term. But Lauer and his crack team of researchers at NBC did determine, after painstaking analysis, that the civil war in Iraq is, in fact, a civil war.

In a stand that echoed the bravery of US heroes at Iwo Jima, with language that will assume the lasting permanence of Abraham Lincoln's canonical Gettysburg address, Lauer faced the cameras last week and told us that "the change in terminology is warranted."

And the nation exhaled! What truer words have yet been spoken? With Lauer leading the charge forward, our soldiers shall blast their way through the Middle Eastern hive of conflict with grace, landing soon back on the home front into the citizenry's welcoming arms.

NBC received a ton of coverage for its bold decision that different factions fighting within a single country qualified for the "civil war" tag. It wasn't the first to apply the epithet, but it certainly got the most credit for it. The cowed press corps bombarded the White House with questions on the topic.

But seriously: Lauer is really the bravest man in the free press? Crikey.

PR Play rating:
1. Clueless
2. Ill-advised
3. On the right track
4. Savvy
5. Ingenious

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