TV's newest Hollywood gossip show isn't worth talking about

TV's newest Hollywood gossip show isn't worth talking about

So many movie stars shined at the Emmy Awards two weeks ago one might have thought it was the Oscars. Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, even Barbra Streisand, who held court at a swanky Showtime bash.The high-quality projects being made by the premium movie channels are attracting more and more A-list actors. And the cablers show their love and appreciation by lavishing them with tons of awards. I'm not saying Pacino or Streep didn't deserve their kudos - they probably did - but they could have just read from the phone book and still walked away with Emmys. The publicity Pacino and Streep generated for HBO is worth its weight in gold. Certainly it's worth some hardware. Paul Newman stars in an adaptation of Empire Falls for the network later this year. I imagine the Emmy folks have already engraved his name on a trophy. (Hell, I'd give it to him just for making those killer chocolate bars.) I was asked by a couple of networks to lend a hand with their post-show Emmy parties, but had to be in Vegas for a boxing match and a bachelor party. (I should be writing about the latter. Geez, Louise...) However, I checked in with a few publicists for the skinny. Apparently, the biggest news about this year's show was the added coverage of The Insider, the new celebrity gossip show that debuted recently. Have you seen this highly annoying train wreck of a program? I tried to watch an episode and got dizzy. It's designed for people with severe attention deficit disorders. Each shot lasts about a nanosecond. Blink and you'll miss an entire segment. I think subject matter as riveting and vital as Hollywood gossip ought to get at least five seconds, don't you? Sure publicists are always excited to have a new outlet to pitch, but this one could give their client an epileptic seizure. I don't want to be mean, but is there a more grating sound than the voice of the show's host, Pat O'Brien? My God, he makes Fran Drescher sound like James Earl Jones. Let's recruit him in the war on terror. Talk about a weapon of mass defection. Blast O'Brien's voice into the Afghanistan foothills and the terrorists will crawl out in droves, pleading to surrender. I humbly suggest a new Emmy Award for next season. The "Please Go Away and Never Come Back and We Will Give You This Beautiful Trophy" award. Pat O'Brien, come on up! Lawrence Mitchell Garrison is an LA-based freelance publicist and writer

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