Clearly anyone who felt sports fans didn't care about the lack of pro hockey this season was wrong.
Just look at what they'll do to make up for lost violence.
In an increasingly familiar scenario, a spectator got a little too close to the action at Fenway Park on April 14, further blurring the lines between athlete, fan, and highlight reel.
Exactly what happened that night depends on whom you ask. Everyone agrees that Yankee outfielder Gary Sheffield was chasing a ball along the tiny right field wall. According to Sheffield, a fan took a swing at him while he was reaching for the ball. According to the fan, Chris House, he was only trying to grab the ball and never made contact with the outfielder.
Regardless of whose version you believe - and the footage hardly helps - Sheffield then shoved House and returned to the play. Once the play was done, the two resumed the violent posturing, but officials prevented further contact. Not, however, before another fan christened Sheffield with his beer.
The incident recalled not just Ron Artest's November homage to Brad Pitt in Fight Club, but another Fenway scuffle between the Yanks and Sox at the end of last season. The difference this time was that justice was swift.
On Monday, the Red Sox organization relieved House of his season tickets and banned the unnamed beer chucker from buying seats for the year. Signs were also posted along the right field wall warning fans not to touch the Yankees.
It may not seem like much, but it's the closest a baseball team will likely come to hockey's setup, in which they keep the violent drunks behind Plexiglass.
Unfortunately, they also give them sticks.
3. On the right track