"Somewhere between classic fashion and contemporary technology exists a subtle, yet powerful first impression," begins the overwritten press release. "Ikuffs, the world's first illuminated cufflink, converges amid the two, creating a radiance bright enough to draw attention while remaining quite apposite."
If "apposite" means "looking like a disappointingly crappy selection from a 25-cent machine next to the grocery-store checkout line," we totally agree.
You probably think that you'd never need cufflinks that light up like two laser pointers projecting from your shirt sleeves. You'd be correct. It might be understandable if iKuffs were trying to create a niche in the non-traditional dress-up market, much like dead fish ties and rainbow-colored top hats, but no. These are, supposedly, serious fashion accessories.
And, problem #324: They cost $200. An entire $200 Men's Warehouse suit might draw some snooty muffled laughter from rich Brooks Brothers aficionados, but a Brooks Brothers suit with illuminated cufflinks will get you belly-laughed out of anywhere except clown college.
Perhaps the problem lies in inventor Ivan Nagolo Jr.'s title, "machinist turned fashion designer." Those professions go together like Bloods and Crips. Until Nagolo rolls out a laser-studded shirt, these cufflinks will not match any clothes anywhere.
Any suggestions for gadgets we should try? Send them to firstname.lastname@example.org
Available at ikuffs.com
Specs Stainless steel (brushed or polished), seven colors.