Last Call: At long last Henry belongs to William

William Shakespeare just can't stop his own PR machine, and his latest coup has all the intrigue of an episode of the E! network's Mysteries and Scandals. Centuries after his death, an ugly feud still brews - but what happens when modern technology can solve one of literature's greatest mysteries?

The debate concerned the authorship of Henry VIII, a work that has been claimed by the reps of such Elizabethan upstarts as John Fletcher, Christopher Marlowe, Ben Jonson and Thomas Dekker.

Enter the instrument of justice, SERbrainware. The search engine analyzed established works of Shakespeare and his contemporaries, comparing them with the disputed play. The results state that the beloved Bard is most likely the author of Henry VIII, with a certainty of 88%. Collaboration with another writer was also ruled out.

Thus, Shakespeare has scored a moral victory and a PR coup. However, no morning show appearances are planned for the present.

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