LAST CALL: For once, PRWeek tells the full story

It's true: not all you read in PRWeek's esteemed news section is the whole story.

Take, for example, Carl Thompson, whose eponymous IR agency won a brief to rescue TeraGlobal Communications. While we maturely quoted his strategy in last week's news story, we felt we could not deny you the rest of his plan, as told to our reporter.

'We put them in a room, put mascara and lipstick on them, and then we get them really mad and make them scream,' Thompson said. 'After our Mascara Primal Scream procedures, they lose their inhibitions. And we tape it. That way if they never pay their bill, we can use it to hold them hostage.'

Chocolate, too, is required. 'We order the most decadent chocolate around and then after 30 minutes of eating it, we start tossing out the ideas when everyone's buzzing,' Thompson said. 'We call it the Chocolate Fetish and it's top secret.'

More analogies about 'dressing them up for the ball' then followed. Carl, you run an IR agency. That's IR, which does NOT stand for Intimate Relationships.

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