The truth may be out there, but nobody will ever find it if the new
sci-fi spin doctor on UPN's Special Unit 2 gets her way.
Other police spokespeople may fall back on the old "If I told you, I'd
have to shoot you" excuse. But SU2's new "damage control" officer Alice
Cramer, a recurring character played by platinum-blonde actress Pauley
Perrette, is a flack's flack who out-drinks journalists and protects her
police team by convincing reporters that covering the truly bizarre
would ruin their careers.
So far, no real PR types have complained about having their profession's
reputation sullied, claimed a UPN spokesperson who himself preferred to
remain nameless and felt "untruthful" too strong an adjective to apply
to Alice's aggressive media relations tactics.
We'd tell you what we really think, but then we'd have to shoot you.