LAST CALL: Surveys show sex to be on upswing in both US and UK

On both sides of the Atlantic, two spicy surveys are highlighting a

return to an issue that has been absent from media coverage over the

past two months - the incredibly important subject of the sexual

proclivity of Americans and Britons.

A survey from Durex Condoms, covered in USA Today among other outlets,

revealed that Americans are regular John Holmeses when it comes to

lovemaking, averaging the deed 124 times per year.

Not to be outdone, a study in the UK's Lancet Medical Journal showcased

the English's fornicatory ability. On average, the number of partners

for the British has increased from nine to 13 for men, and four to seven

for women.

How lovely to see a return to normalcy. No, we're not talking about the

return of salacious news, we're talking about the return of lying about

how much you get. A hundred and twenty-four times a year? Come on!

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