The next time your intern whines about copying the clip pack, thumbtack this article to the ungrateful wretch's cubicle.
Will Keller studied four long years for his accounting degree, and for what? To learn the hard way what any kindergartner could tell you: wieners get no respect.
Keller and his partner, Paula Pendleton, were among hundreds of applicants to win a dozen or so prize positions as "hotdoggers, the recent college graduates who get to drive Oscar Mayer's Wienermobiles around for a year.
"They were among the lucky ones who cut the mustard, quipped brand spokeswoman Sarah Delea.
Having just completed "Hot Dog High, the pair traveled from Madison, WI to Washington, DC. While cruising the area in their mouth-watering new wheels, scouting sights for promotional appearances, they ran afoul of the law.
Maybe they were reflecting on their good fortune at living out their employer's most famous jingle. For whatever reason, they didn't see the signs explaining the new security restrictions around the Pentagon. Vehicles with more than six wheels are no longer allowed near the brain center of the American military, no matter how hungry all those generals and admirals might be.
Passing motorists along Route 110 couldn't help but gawk as a Virginia state trooper lectured the drivers of the 27-foot-long hotdog. One even called Lloyd Grove, who writes the Reliable Source column for The Washington Post, and the story of the hotdoggers' humiliation went from the frying pan to the UP wire.
Luckily for our heroes, trooper Robert Stacy's sense of humor won out over his desire to enforce the law. He let Keller and Pendleton off with a warning, and graciously escorted them to the next exit. And the Post quoted Stacy uttering a line that will surely pop up in the next Austin Powers film: "That was the biggest wiener I've ever seen."