DIARY: Cigarette company loves its loyal customers to death

Cigarettes after sex are a common Hollywood cliche. But sex after cigarette PR?

Cigarettes after sex are a common Hollywood cliche. But sex after cigarette PR?

Cigarettes after sex are a common Hollywood cliche. But sex after

cigarette PR?



Brown & Williamson Tobacco, which bills itself as ’A Responsible Company

in a Controversial Industry,’ is raising the controversy bar (or

lowering it, depending on your opinion of smoking) by introducing a new

brand of smoky foreplay.



No, it’s not a new brand of cigarettes. Rather, it’s an attempt, fueled

by a phone message on the company’s toll-free 800 number (800-578-7453),

to generate attention and thank smokers for their loyalty.



In the recorded telephone message, a spokesman’s purring voice puts

forward enough innuendo to make callers think they accidentally dialed a

Viagra hotline



’We, the Brown & Williamson Tobacco, are in love with you,’ the voice

oozes, backed by a crescendo of Barry White-ish music. ’You make us feel

like a little kitten. Thank you, lover. By the way, the other tobacco

companies hate you and think you’re ugly. They told us so.’



The romance, however, is decidedly short-lived. Right after the company

declares its unyielding affection, the voice gets down to business,

asking callers to press ’one’ to be added to a mailing list; ’two’ to

find a nearby store which carries B&W’s products; or ’three’ to speak to

a service representative.



We feel so ... used.



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