Job: Creative partner, Archibald Ingall Stretton
- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?
Drink three Baileys and take two Nytol. It works on planes.
- What's your best joke?
Man walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barmaid gives him one.
- What's your biggest fear?
That nobody laughs at that joke.
- When did you last cry and why?
The last time I told that joke and nobody laughed.
- Who is your hero?
- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.
I have small hands.
- What's the worst thing about your job?
- What do you see when you look in the mirror?
- Which historical figure do you most identify with and why?
I was nicknamed T Rex (fairly historical) by the creative department because I have small arms. Not funny.
- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?
- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?
Matt Morley-Brown. Otherwise, I'd have to listen to him telling the story - over and over again - of how he fought his way out of the office on his own.
- Are you happy?
Yes. Yes. Yes.
- What would you do if you were invisible for the day?
- What's your most evocative childhood memory?
Winning a Chopper in the "Pritt Glue, Design A Christmas Card Competition". And a "Chopper", for anybody under 35, was a Raleigh bike.
- What's your most irritating habit?
Double entendres. They just keep coming.
- What belief do you hold most strongly?
You don't make the right decision; you make a decision and make it right.
- What's on your iPod most-played list?
Don't know. But it'll be by The Jam.
- What do you wear in bed?
I wrap my jowls tightly around myself to keep warm.
This article was first published on Campaign