Close-Up: The Hot Seat - Steve Stretton, Archibald Ingall Stretton

Job: Creative partner, Archibald Ingall Stretton

- You've got five hours left before the world explodes. What do you do?

Drink three Baileys and take two Nytol. It works on planes.

- What's your best joke?

Man walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the barmaid gives him one.

- What's your biggest fear?

That nobody laughs at that joke.

- When did you last cry and why?

The last time I told that joke and nobody laughed.

- Who is your hero?

Paul Weller.

- Name one thing about yourself that few people know.

I have small hands.

- What's the worst thing about your job?

Administration.

- What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Jowls.

- Which historical figure do you most identify with and why?

I was nicknamed T Rex (fairly historical) by the creative department because I have small arms. Not funny.

- If you had a trained monkey, what would you make it do?

Administration.

- If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?

Matt Morley-Brown. Otherwise, I'd have to listen to him telling the story - over and over again - of how he fought his way out of the office on his own.

- Are you happy?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

- What would you do if you were invisible for the day?

Moon. Freely.

- What's your most evocative childhood memory?

Winning a Chopper in the "Pritt Glue, Design A Christmas Card Competition". And a "Chopper", for anybody under 35, was a Raleigh bike.

- What's your most irritating habit?

Double entendres. They just keep coming.

- What belief do you hold most strongly?

You don't make the right decision; you make a decision and make it right.

- What's on your iPod most-played list?

Don't know. But it'll be by The Jam.

- What do you wear in bed?

I wrap my jowls tightly around myself to keep warm.

This article was first published on Campaign