Man possessed by media thong
Media Bitch is becoming seriously worried about some of the men who worship her column.
A few weeks ago you may remember we printed a picture of MPG’s Chris Allen wearing a slightly less-than-masculine thong.
Incredibly, the thong in question has achieved cult status in the agency world and has been doing the rounds in the mail.
The underwear ended up in the hands of the clearly deranged Channel 4 sales executive Andy Argyrides, who decided to give it another airing (pic).
Apparently, his display was a tribute to the “legendary” and oddly young-looking David Hasselhoff who, like the media thong, has achieved cult status among the women and apparently men, of the Channel 4 sales team. Bitch can’t think why Mark Thompson would be in such a hurry to leave.
Bitch was delighted to get a free piece of consumer insight on the day of Channel 4’s Black Friday bonanza, when she listened to two women on the Croydon tram.
One told the other: “It’s the last Friends tonight.”
“What channel?” asked her pal.
“Dunno. Sky, I think.”
Why Marje feared Mike
To the glamorous setting of Billingsgate (and that’s a phrase Bitch never expected to use) and the D&AD Awards, hosted by Matt Lucas’ alter-ego Marjorie Dawes.
As his chaotic presentation unfolded, he routinely poked fun at the sponsors... until the largerthanlife figure of the Evening Standard’sMike Anderson loomed on the stage. Afterwards Lucas told the audience: “I didn’t have any banter with him. He’s the MD of the Standard... I'm not fucking stupid.”
MediaCom wins fantasy football
After an all-conquering year in the billings league, MediaCom has guaranteed itself the privilege of pissing off the entire media industry – by winning the viciously fought-over Telegraph Fantasy Football super league.
Spare a thought for AIA, who spent four months at the top of the table, only to be pipped for the lead.
Maybe MediaCom will now be giving the others a chance when it comes to new business, given the man hours they have clearly put in to become champs.
ZO studs get nod
The Hallmark Channel certainly knows how to make its mark.
Recently, EMEA director of sales Mark Taylor went on the road supported by his very own troupe of chorus girls.
“That’s the best presentation I’ve seen in 14 years,” claimed Marc Bignall, joint MD of Opera – Omnicom’s theatrically named buying shed – after seeing the show.
Well sorry Mark, in terms of buying clout you may be the equivalent of a charging rhino with dynamite strapped to your pants, but the girls themselves had other thoughts.
Apparently, it was the boys at ZenithOptimedia who most caught their eye. Do the ZO crew give better ROI perhaps?
Clark’s joke book is empty
Bitch was privileged to watch the sleekest character in media hit a slight bump at the launch of the latest MediaDNA research.
The urbane Ian Clark, director of advertising for News Group Newspapers, was moments into his high-tech presentation when it vanished from the screen only to be replaced by an error message.
“That’s not what I wanted to see at this stage... oh bollocks,” he told his audience. The pressure was really on when the IT man warned him that fixing it was going to take time. “You keep them entertained,” he suggested.
While Bitch was looking forward to a few jokes, Clark spotted potential salvation in the form of Sky sales boss Mark Chippendale. “You've got a good singing voice,” he pleaded. But this was one Chippendale who was not going to perform.
THE TWO-MINUTE TEST
Set by Ashley Bolt, account manager at Total Media
1 Between the first quarter of 1999 and the fourth of 2003, by what percentage has listening hours increased for housewives on radio?
a) 7.1% b) 10.6% c) 31.7%
2 According to MMS, which supermarket chain spent the most on advertising in 2003?
a) Asda b) Sainsbury’s c) Tescos
3 In Matt Beaumont’s book, e, what was the haphazard ad agency pitching for Coca-Cola called?
a) NOBBS b) Ward, Hooker, Wikler, Gilbert & Lambert c) Miller Shanks
4 How many episodes of Friends have there been in the past 10 years?
a) 236 b) 258 c) 263
5 What is the name of the hop-on hop-off buses that will soon be leaving London Streets?
a) Red Rangers b) Routemasters c) Regal Reds
1)c, 2) b, 3)c, 4)a, 5)b
This article was first published on Media Week