Number of people in your team?
Who does what?
We all work our company issue socks off for the good of the radio-listening public. First Radio has a highly skilled and fine-tuned team of crack commandos based in Manchester under the maverick leadership of Andy Jones, while a larger platoon of SAS-types camp out in our West End office under the guidance and tactical know-how of Neil Webster. We all work together under the mission statement "Have spots –Will flog".
Who is the biggest character and why?
We are all far too humble to be seeking the limelight of "Office Joker", but it is safe to say that everyone in the London team has a certain individual, loveable charm that sets them aside from your average member of the "media ratpack". However, special mentions must go to the magical arm-based dancing of newlywed Jo Edwards. Also Dominique Bagalue's Smirnoff Ice-fuelled karaoke rendition of Whitney's The Greatest Love Of All will remain with us until we draw our pensions.
What's the office atmosphere like?
It's best described as a rousing crescendo of gospel prayer, factory whistles, crashing desk fans and abusive language.
What stands you apart from the rest of the industry?
We have to work extremely hard to get our fair share of the market, so the wealth and mix of experience, knowledge and originality we can offer to our clients is priceless. That and the fact our musical influences range from The Wu Tang Clan to Michael Ball.
What does it take to get a job in your team?
The initiation involves circumnavigating the streets of Soho, blindfolded, with only your cunning and agility as weapons against the "Golf Sale" boards and "School of English" flyers.
How are staff encouraged to hit targets?
While we have a bonus scheme in place that not only honours the individual, but also the team as a whole, our bosses are not so naive to think that sometimes straight bribery and the promise of extended drinks at lunchtime on a Friday won't work just as well.
Where do you all let your hair down?
In London, we have a reserved space near the bin on the pavement outside The Marquis of Granby in Rathbone Street. This gives us a great view of Dennis Norden's flat and his regular trips to the newsagents. If we have been really good, we are let loose in The Charlotte Street Hotel or the roof terrace of Soho House.
Is your team the best in the business? If so, contact firstname.lastname@example.org
This article was first published on Media Week