Should've gone to Specsavers
Bitch loves a good wind-up. So, she was delighted to learn, on April Fool's Day, that the folks at Viacom Outdoor had mailed a hoax announcement to customers about a deal with a fictional firm, Hidden Image.
The letter explained that promotion specialists would stand near the poster sites and give a pair of special glasses (pictured being worn by the Viacom Ireland team) to people who meet the right demographic to allow them to see the image hidden in the poster – so advertisers could overcome restrictions on adult content.
Enclosed was a pair of glasses so customers could try it out for themselves – reportedly, a couple did just that.
We're all off round Tony’s
To Downing Street, and far more exalted company than Bitch is used to.
Prime Minister Tony Blair was in full hospitality mode, welcoming a pre-election delegation from the British Society of Magazine Editors.
And everyone had their own ways of winning the PM's attention. Blair revealed: "I'd like to thank the lady from Flower Arranging magazine for the flowers for Cherie."
The premier found himself fielding a bizarre range of questions – from GPs from the man at Pulse to motoring safety from the man at Bike.
But the prize for the most off topic question went to the editor of Waitrose Food Illustrated, who used the opportunity to question the morality of Blair's support for ex Home Secretary David Blunkett.
And Bitch is sure she saw the PM flinch when one woman introduced herself as the editor of WI magazine. The WI conference famously gave him a slow handclap towards the beginning of his premiership. He smiled somewhat thinly as he said: "And how are they?"
Blair was only floored once, when it was pointed out that he's the current cover star of Attitude and asked whether he is now a gay icon. "I'll leave others to judge that, as he blushes gracefully," he stuttered.
But Piers Morgan would have been crushingly disappointed.
His diaries suggested the ex- Mirror editor was practically central to Blair's life. So had the PM read the book, or even flicked through the index, asked BSME chairman and GQ editor Dylan Jones. "No and no," replied the PM.
Though you'd heard it all?
Bitch loves to get out and about and always enjoys seeing what's new on the posters and billboards, but there is nothing she detests more than transport delays.
She's heard all the excuses in the book – leaves on the track, signal failure, security alerts, passenger intervention, broken-down trains, even the infamous "wrong kind of snow".
But Bitch was flabbergasted to hear from one of her media friends that she'd been stuck in the Tube at Finsbury Park for an entirely new reason: "posters on the track."
This article was first published on Media Week