This girl is slightly sad she missed the Christmas party for Dennis Publishing on Tuesday night at The Foundation Bar in Covent Garden, but after being forwarded the pictures by the naughty boys at Media Week, she can now understand why.
Not wishing to cast aspersions, but the theme of the whole affair was "Masquerade Ball", which Bitch hears is very popular in the suburbs with certain types of over-friendly couples (not that this girl would know).
Bitch is assured that it was all above board, but then again, Bitch can remember (speaking to her sister title Campaign) that David Weeks, head of international advertising for the publisher's title The Week, did mention something about running a "nudist falconry experience" if he wasn't in advertising, so she can't be too sure.
Chest another day in the office
Oh Good Lord it's Christmas, and don't you guys just know it? Let's start with one of the hardest-working and playing media agencies on Charlotte Street (and Bitch regulars), the7stars.
Bitch didn't think that the agency, that has among its clients Phones4U and Uniqlo, would let her down in the run-up to Christmas, and once again, it's outdone itself.
The independent agency, run by founders Jenny Biggam and Mark Jarvis, is about to move from its current home, so it set itself a "Goodbye to Charlotte Street" set of challenges.
The challenges included being photographed naked (you know who you are Anuschka Clarke), photographed with a celebrity (who turned out to be former England footballer Gary Lineker, who happened to be walking past the office), and getting your head shaved at the infamous Mr Topps barbers.
Unfortunately, and Bitch would suggest possibly under the influence of a few lager shandies, the agency's digital planner Dave "Jacko" Counsell decided to go one step further and get his chest shaved.
Bitch is sure you're regretting that now darling – it must be just that little bit itchy.
Oh, and this girl has been asked to mention the agency's press head Liam Mullins and new business head Nick "Maddo" Maddison, but she's a bit reticent as an agency insider described them both as "total lightweights."
Bitch has been in touch with the Media Week offices this week to see how they are all getting on, and would like to pass on the team's gratitude to all of you who have send cards and gifts (you really are a naughty bunch).
However, one was a little stranger than most. That was from Andrew Stephens and Ben Hayes, founders of media agency Goodstuff, who had sent the office a jar full of sweets, but not just any sweets – humbugs.
On the front of the jar was written: "2011 wasn't all bah humbug". Well petals, although there's some trepidation about what 2012 will bring, Bitch hopes that sentiment will last.
Bitch is taking a break now darlings to see what Santa has in his sack for her, although she's not so sure she's been a good girl this year.
Until the first week of January, when Bitch returns with more tales my little mince pies, enjoy the holidays...
This article was first published on mediaweek.co.uk