Scannell enslaved at Bravo's Spartacus party
Virgin Media went the extra mile for the launch party for Bravo's new show Spartacus: Blood and Sand, turning One Marylebone into Ancient Rome complete with slaves, a Roman banquet and, of course, large goblets of wine.
It even hired bull mastiff Monkey - the professional stunt dog from Harry Potter 4 - to pose as Cerberus, while Virgin executives Jonny Webb, Claudia Rosencrantz and Daniela Neumann let their hair down with the star's show John Hannah, who was presented with two slaves to do his bidding for the evening.
However, the "regal" atmosphere didn't last long - Shaun Jordan, account group leader at IDS, decked himself out in a ladies' wig (below), while Paul Scannell, agency group head at IDS, locked himself in the slave cage, which became an impromptu dance podium. Bitch is sure Caligula would have approved.
Mail crowns Maxus' Moloney ‘man of the match'
Meanwhile, the Mail Connected Sports Club's football tournament at Stamford Bridge was "a bit like Christmas", says Adam Gilsenan, agency sales manager.
The 40 supporters who cheered on the six teams lifted the mood, as did former Chelsea goalkeeper Peter Bonetti, who passed on his sporting wisdom.
The Mail's Dan Rook, Alex Seligman from Sainsburys and Rory Morrin from Carat (on the ball, below) all played with flair, but the man of the match was John Maloney, head of press at Maxus, who "stole the show" in midfield.
In fact, Moloney - who plays semi-professionally for Beckenham Town - played so skilfully he changed sides at half-time, after the match became "embarrassing".
But even Moloney couldn't rescue team four, who lost by a decisive 10-1. Better cut down on the media lunches before the Mail's boxing event in July...
Two reasons why Spearmint Rhino and Rohypnol don't mix
Picture the scene: it's late, you've had a few drinks and you are sitting in the time-honoured media agency haunt that is Spearmint Rhino.
So far, so standard - in media-land, at least. But where this story of two media agency executives departs from the norm is when one executive starts feeling ill, leaves the club abruptly, and remembers nothing more until waking up at 4.30am at home in bed to the sound of his mobile ringing off the hook.
It is his friend - by this time just hours away from an important client meeting - who informs him that he is lying on a central London park bench.
Not only that, but his suit and shoes are ruined by baby oil - requiring an emergency dash to M&S - and he has a £4k hole in his bank account.
This story is not from this year - and the men involved will remain nameless - but as a salutary tale against the perils of Rohypnol, it arguably has no sell-by date.
Who lives in a Caribbean house like this?
As promised, a Through the Keyhole-style report on Felix Dennis' beautiful home on Mustique, as brought to you by Dennis Publishing's Claire Scrase, newly returned from a "fantastic" 10-day break at the Caribbean mansion.
Scrase reports that Felix's house includes - deep breath - an infinity swimming pool, a card lounge, an outdoor pool table, an air-conditioned games room with everything from pinball to table football, "hundreds" of novels and poetry books, and photos of Hugh Grant and Mick Jagger in the downstairs loo.
Fine cuisine is prepared by a chef named Webb, while Jennifer the butler mans the well-stocked bar. "You can help yourself to drinks all day long," says Scrase, although she remained teetotal as she is expecting a baby in September, leaving her husband Russell to tuck into the rum and cokes.
Murdoch mafia continue Cameron love-in
When David Cameron was in opposition, he reportedly accepted £34,000 of free private jet flights to chat to Rupert Murdoch on his yacht off Greece.
Now Dave is in power, the love-in continues, with Rupert spotted sneaking into Number 10 by the back door on Tuesday (18 May) to discuss - some fear - how his newspapers' support of the Tories might be repaid in media policy favours.
No-one can say the Murdochs haven't gone the extra mile for Dave - the meeting comes just weeks after James Murdoch (with Rebekah Wade) stormed into Independent editor Simon Kelner's office to berate him for criticising their papers' Tory electioneering (artist's impression below).
Watch this space to see whether Dave grants Murdoch's three media wishes: no Ofcom, no BBC Trust and no pesky pay-TV investigation.
Kinetic chairman gets on his (rusty) bike
And finally: Kinetic's chairman Eric Newnham has committed to his third consecutive annual charity cycle ride - despite having been out on his bike just once in the last year.
Newnham will set off on the 350-mile tour from Paddington to Brighton on 2 June in the company of "ten nutters from Kinetic", including chief operating officer James Copley. To help Eric raise money for chosen charity St Dunstan's - and to reward him for ensuring the dreaded "chafing" - please visit www.justgiving.com/eric-newnham.
This article was first published on mediaweek.co.uk