It is a waste of your time and ours to even put this common-sense assumption into print, but let us acknowledge, for the record, that Justin Timberlake is one of the world's best role models.
He's sexy! He's dance-y! And he sings those sugar pop songs with a sweet, sweet voice that could melt the heart of even the toughest 13-year-old girl.
But Justin is growing older.
In the rough and tumble environs of Beverly Hills, one has to show the local hoods that just because you're a preacher's son and Mickey Mouse Club veteran doesn't mean that you don't like your drugs, like all tough guys.
Last week, Timberlake told The Observer (UK), "I get completely plastered, I've done my fair share of drugs, and I've been caught places with my pants down."
Justin, Justin. We know that you're trying to keep a hold on your aging kiddie audience, most of whom are just reaching the age where they can hop on the drug train themselves. But listen to yourself. "Plastered?" Why not try "zooted" or "twisted" or "sautéed" or something a little more up to date? You sound like a parent who's gotten hold of one of those "Teen Drug Slang Explained" booklets.
Look, man: We all know that the hardest drug you do is Nutella. There's nothing wrong with that. Fire your image consultants immediately and embrace your inner Mouseketeer. Because catching Justin Timberlake anywhere with his "pants down" is far scarier than the worst acid trip imaginable.
3. On the right track