News Corp to Zannino: Don't let the doorknob hit you...

Dow Jones CEO Richard Zannino announced today that he'll be leaving the company once the sale to News Corp. closes later this month. He...

Dow Jones CEO Richard Zannino announced today that he'll be leaving the company once the sale to News Corp. closes later this month. He said it was his own decision, and I have absolutely no reason to doubt him. Nevertheless, I will now rework Rupert Murdoch's quote on the situation as I imagine it in his mind:

“I understand Rich’s decision to seek new challenges. During nearly two years as CEO, he proved himself to be an effective leader [WHO WAS BUSY PLAYING THE KAZOO IN THE CORNER WHILE HIS COMPANY WEAKENED TO THE POINT THAT I COULD BUY IT AGAINST THE WISHES OF EVERYONE IN THE WORLD]....We thank him for his good work and look forward to building on this foundation and taking Dow Jones to even greater heights as part of News Corporation [A COMPETENT COMPANY, UNLIKE DOW JONES, WHEN IT WAS RUN BY RICHARD ZANNINO. NOW WHERE IS MY WRINKLE CREAM?]"

Zannino's replacement has not been named, but leading candidates are rumored to include Skeletor and Rupert Murdoch's dog.

No, really it's gonna be News Corp. operative Les Hinton as CEO, and Times of London editor Robert Thomson as the new publisher. Skeletor, we'll keep your resume on file.

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