TALES FROM TINSELTOWN: From strip clubs to airports, nude nudes isgood nudes in Hollywood

Michael Klastorin, who has worked as a unit publicist on such

acclaimed films as The People vs. Larry Flynt, was recently working on

the Tinseltown set of an upcoming cable movie. The set was a strip bar.

A "working" strip bar, mind you. And these girls, apparently, were

really working.



The film's lead character, played by a well-known Italian actor, had

just argued with his wife, and was taking comfort with friends and

inappropriately dressed ladies. There were four stages going at once,

sometimes with more than one entertainer on each stage. All in the

interest of the film mind you.



Klastorin didn't stay long. "The whole time I was there I was wondering

when I could get back to my girlfriend," he told me. That's sweet. But I

am compelled to ask where is his professionalism? You wouldn't see me

bolting early. I'd be there until the bare end. Bitter end, I mean.

Bitter.



"What amazes me," the unit photographer says, "is that these people

would probably be arrested for some of this stuff if it wasn't being

filmed. Isn't it ironic how filming something makes it legal

somehow?"



There's been no such irony in the movies I've worked on recently. In

fact, the last project I worked on had no female cast at all. Zero. And

it was a four-month shoot!



The aforementioned photographer, who is a straight female, said most of

the crew seemed to get a kick out of the surroundings. "I think men and

women both enjoy looking at the female form," she says. "Women only

enjoy the male form when there's activity going on." I think we know

what she meant by activity. I'll leave it at that.



By the way, there's an added PR attraction with adult entertainment

shows in LA. Those of you who have driven by the Los Angeles

International Airport may have noticed we have a peculiar breed of

dancers found nowhere else - "nude nudes." Those very words are

plastered on a giant billboard at a strip club near LAX. Forget Atlanta,

Montreal or New Orleans. Do they have "nude nudes?" Ha! I think not.

Sure, Paris has the renowned Moulin Rouge, but why settle for nudes when

you can have nude nudes. It's all part of that grand Hollywood magic.

(For the record, I've never actually seen the "nude nudes." I'm

afraid.)



And on the subject of LAX, the controversial artistic renderings of

naked men sandblasted on the floor of the American Barelines terminal

caused a PR firestorm here this summer. The depictions - which the

artist says express men's yearnings to fly - were temporarily covered

until the Cultural Affairs Commission decided it was OK because they're

only nudes. Not nude nudes, presumably.



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